Finding a Beshert - Jewish Soul Mate

According to the Jewish tradition and the scriptures, forty days before the male child is born, the voice from heaven announces whose daughter he is going to marry. The match is made, literally, in heaven.

In Yiddish, the word beshert, which is often translated as "the perfect match" or "the soul mate", also means fate or destiny. The meaning is so powerful, that many Jewish people use this term in their online dating profiles.

Many Jewish people believe that once they find their beshert they will live happily ever after. But it's important to remember that finding your soul mate or beshert, will not make your marriage easy. Marriage always involves highs and lows. But as long as the commitment and desire to live together forever is there on both sides, working through differences will never be too difficult to deal with.

According to the traditional Jewish believes, you don't always feel or know who your beshert is. However, once you sanctify your relationship in marriage, it is understood that the person you married instantly becomes your soul mate. Once you are married, you know that G-d provided for you to meet your one and only, your destiny, your beshert, and He will keep providing for the two of you to live happily together. I believe that the choice we make in life, as far as our marriage, is not always G-d's choice for us. We do not have a special book that tells us about who we are going to meet, and whom we are going to marry.

I do believe that G-d carefully watches every step in our lives; He gives us the clues and the hints, but we tend to stray away… So, even if the sacred ceremony with blessings have been preformed, and everyone believes that the marriage was G-d’s will, the actual relationship may not work at all… For this reason the Jewish tradition "allows" for a second marriage, and this second marriage can actually be the one that really is meant for you. Believe, though, that you are bound to find your beshert, and G-d will provide the place and the person when the time is right.

In older days, in order to make the marriage binding, the groom had to provide money, contract and a sexual relationship. The ring, which was a valuable gift from the groom to his bride could not be borrowed or given to him by someone else. The bride, through acceptance of the ring would accept him as her husband. The Talmud states that a woman could not be "given away" without her consent.

During the wedding ceremony the bride and groom are given a written contract, called Ketubah, which defines conditions and obligations of the husband to his wife; including issues like support for the children and inheritance in case of death. In many Jewish families the Ketubah is framed and displayed, as it is a beautiful work of art.

Before the wedding ceremony, the groom and bride do not see each other for seven days. They also have to fast on the day before the wedding. Right before the ceremony the bride is veiled as a sign of purity and modesty. This is to show that the beauty of a soul is of much greater significance than the beauty of the body. Under the Chuppah, when the wedding prayers are announced, the groom wears a white robe, which symbolizes spiritual purity.

The wedding ceremony is followed by wedding celebrations with loads of good music, food and dancing.