Jewish dating is distinctly purposeful. We don’t date for the sake of dating or just to have a little bit of fun. More often than not, Jewish dating has a clear objective of finding a suitable marriage partner. It is important to realize that you can approach the dating process in either the right or the wrong way. Consequences of the wrong approach may be quite significant. The below Jewish dating tips will help you avoid the most commonly made mistakes:

Do your homework.

Find out as much as possible about the person you decide to meet, to make sure your relationship has a real potential.

Limit your expectations.

Before you arrive at your first date - decide that you are going to have fun. Make the other person feel welcome and comfortable, whether you are interested in further dating them or not. This had always worked for me. I’ve been on quite a few dates where I had no interest in the other person, but with this positive attitude I always had fun during the date and felt good about myself afterwards. The positive feeling is the best comforter for the obvious disappointment of not having met your beshert…

Give it a chance.

Unless there is something you strongly dislike about the other person’s behaviour, appearance or values I’d strongly recommend for you to meet the person again. People react in many ways to the stress of a first date. I personally know many people who quite disliked each other on the first date and who now enjoy shalom bayit.

Make sure that you get a good night sleep the night before you meet your date. Jewish dating often involves long distance travelling – make the arrangements in a way that will let you get some rest before the meeting. This way it will be easier for you to show enthusiasm, sense of humor, creativity and curiosity – these are the key aspects of effective dating.

Have patience.

Don’t expect to be swamped off your feet by the anticipated chemistry; it’s very unlikely that anyone will experience such strong passion on the first date. Again – it usually takes time to recognize the real deal.

Make sure to look your best.

First impression influences our perception a great deal. And you will never get the second chance to make the first impression.

Ask questions.

But not just any questions – the relevant ones. As we said already, Jewish dating should serve its purpose. Try to find out if your date’s lifestyle, values and vision of your potential relationship match your expectations.

They say: When you know, you know. And I strongly believe it’s true. But what if you just don’t know? Keep dating till you do know. And if your heart tells you that this is not your beshert, have the courage and manners to let the other person know how you feel. It could be very hurtful to leave the other person hoping or wandering about the future of your relationship.